I glance into my dressy living room and yearn for an old fashioned messy Christmas where tangled tree lights and kids and tacky tinsel make for a hilarious tree trimming get together. Where pine needles stick into sofa cushions and the jingle-jangles of bells blend perfectly with the squeals of little girls. "Look, I just found baby Jesus and Joseph! Oh no, Mary's missing, Oh, here she is, wrapped up with the camel."
Now, the room glows with a kind of quiet sophistication, the look of dolled up adults,, mixing small talk with champagne and well-chosen Christmas carols. I wonder . . . do others, like me, still ache from the lingering effects of the tidy empty nest? Peace and Quiet are finally mine and I ache for chaos, the Christmas kind where giggles and silly memories create havoc and outrageous joys.
Oh yes I want a big full-blown mess -- loud and wacky, where mismatched dirty socks and angelic tree toppers mingle with twisted light cords.
Bring out the musty boxes of re-glued spindly ornaments and scribbled, Santa letters, many chocolate stained, all cherished masterpieces
I am a hopeless case for I feel like an old rose preserved between the pages of The Night Before Christmas. I thumbed through the classic tale, the same story I memorized as a child, read to my daughters and now to my eight grandchildren. I closed the book but not the memories for they linger still. I held the book squarely across my breasts as if embracing the last forty years as a mother. No clatter on the lawn, though, just the sound of a mother's quickened heart.
I light a scented candle- pine, I think, lean back on my wide sofa and allow the familiar words dance through my head - - " not a creature was stirring .. . . not even a mouse," well, at least not this year
No comments:
Post a Comment